No Facebook Posts for Men Like Him- A Poem

What happens to the young boys who were abused once they grow up and fall out of the "women and children" tag? How about the men who are abused but have absorbed that "men must be tough," "real men don't cry," and other toxic messages? Where do their tears go?

Get Drunk on a Sunday

Getting more lit on a Monday

She’ll pretend she never forced him

He’ll pretend he was actually with it.

Cause what kind of man wouldn’t enjoy her touch

Her kisses

And his body parts responded

With the right message.

So…

He got the club going up on a Tuesday

Holy shit

It’s a Wednesday

That’s when the regret sets in

Promises to be better flow in

But it’s a Thursday

And he’s feeling a little thirsty

They pour him a drink

he starts off like nah

Not this time

But he’s no stranger to his nos meaning yes

So who is he fooling?

Who is he trying to impress?

Now he is a few sips in

The need to forget always wins

But so does the memory

He acts like it ain't such a big deal

All this is such a thrill

Promises himself he’ll stop

But it’s a Friday so he’s got to get lit

Let that drink hit

Sleeps through Saturday- his sadder days

When the memories really kick in

And the stench of what he’s become chokes him

His life is like one big hangover

Can't wait until it's all over

Wishes he’d pulled the bible a little closer

But he does not believe in that no more

Everybody says he’s a sinner

How does he begin to tell them that he does not need any reminders?

Fell prey to her desires

No one calls him a liar

Cause they think it’s all jokes

“Haha, son,

You’re one of those real funny folks, huh.”

He does not read the Facebook posts about the bible

Calling him beautiful,

Deserving,

Powerful being,

No posts about men like him

So he sits in his misery

Gets drunk on a Sunday

Getting more lit on a Monday

Got the club going up on a Tuesday

And now it’s a Wednesday

Holy Shit…

The reality of patriarchy is that it wears many faces. That men are believed to be "too tough to cry," and "always up for sex" makes it harder for them to come forward or admit that they were abused, or to be believed when they do. The fact is, regardless of gender, abuse is a traumatic experience and its survivors need support, space to heal and to feel believed by someone. There also needs to be greater awareness that how one's body reacts to their abuse, for example having an erection, is in no way an indication of consent or desire. Instead, it is a natural bodily reaction designed to respond to stimuli. This is besides the fact that sexual assault can happen in many other forms beyond penetration. So if you have ever wondered then yes, women can, and do, sexually assault men.

I hope you enjoyed the poem and the video. Please share this article and raise awareness with me. If you would like to learn more about sexual assault against men, or have questions about abuse in general, you may visit RAINN.org. You may also visit my Instagram page, @langas_house, where I will be posting more on this topic under the hashtag, Mentoo. Feel free to use the hashtag too.