No Facebook Posts for Men Like Him- A Poem
What happens to the young boys who were abused once they grow up and fall out of the "women and children" tag? How about the men who are abused but have absorbed that "men must be tough," "real men don't cry," and other toxic messages? Where do their tears go?
Get Drunk on a Sunday
Getting more lit on a Monday
She’ll pretend she never forced him
He’ll pretend he was actually with it.
Cause what kind of man wouldn’t enjoy her touch
Her kisses
And his body parts responded
With the right message.
So…
He got the club going up on a Tuesday
Holy shit
It’s a Wednesday
That’s when the regret sets in
Promises to be better flow in
But it’s a Thursday
And he’s feeling a little thirsty
They pour him a drink
he starts off like nah
Not this time
But he’s no stranger to his nos meaning yes
So who is he fooling?
Who is he trying to impress?
Now he is a few sips in
The need to forget always wins
But so does the memory
He acts like it ain't such a big deal
All this is such a thrill
Promises himself he’ll stop
But it’s a Friday so he’s got to get lit
Let that drink hit
Sleeps through Saturday- his sadder days
When the memories really kick in
And the stench of what he’s become chokes him
His life is like one big hangover
Can't wait until it's all over
Wishes he’d pulled the bible a little closer
But he does not believe in that no more
Everybody says he’s a sinner
How does he begin to tell them that he does not need any reminders?
Fell prey to her desires
No one calls him a liar
Cause they think it’s all jokes
“Haha, son,
You’re one of those real funny folks, huh.”
He does not read the Facebook posts about the bible
Calling him beautiful,
Deserving,
Powerful being,
No posts about men like him
So he sits in his misery
Gets drunk on a Sunday
Getting more lit on a Monday
Got the club going up on a Tuesday
And now it’s a Wednesday
Holy Shit…
The reality of patriarchy is that it wears many faces. That men are believed to be "too tough to cry," and "always up for sex" makes it harder for them to come forward or admit that they were abused, or to be believed when they do. The fact is, regardless of gender, abuse is a traumatic experience and its survivors need support, space to heal and to feel believed by someone. There also needs to be greater awareness that how one's body reacts to their abuse, for example having an erection, is in no way an indication of consent or desire. Instead, it is a natural bodily reaction designed to respond to stimuli. This is besides the fact that sexual assault can happen in many other forms beyond penetration. So if you have ever wondered then yes, women can, and do, sexually assault men.
I hope you enjoyed the poem and the video. Please share this article and raise awareness with me. If you would like to learn more about sexual assault against men, or have questions about abuse in general, you may visit RAINN.org. You may also visit my Instagram page, @langas_house, where I will be posting more on this topic under the hashtag, Mentoo. Feel free to use the hashtag too.